I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
