Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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