obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
