There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
