I cockslap morals
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
