so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
