I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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