Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
