dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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