Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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