Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
even my farts smell like vagina
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
