remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
