I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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