Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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