he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
