Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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