this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I understand Curling. That high.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
