I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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