we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Everything about him screamed your future.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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