I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
