I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
