Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
