I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
