You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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