every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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