You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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