So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
