i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
