oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
