Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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