Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I didn't notice because vodka
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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