You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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