What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
