I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
