I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
