i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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