Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
