And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
