I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
