He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
