whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
worst night to have a conscience
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
