So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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