Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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