Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
