And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
