I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I looked at my own cervix.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
