the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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