how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
