I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
