dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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